I am now the owner of a smartphone…

I don’t understand how this works.

How to Survive a trip to IKEA

kedreeva:

  • Never go alone- bring a partner. Travel in pairs
  • Before entering, ensure that someone not entering knows you are going in, and when you expect to be out
  • Before entering, determine the cause of your mission- your mission objective. Bookcase? Couch? Oven? Meatballs? Figure it out
  • Upon entering, locate The Path
  • Do not disengage from The Path until you have reached your mission destination. Many have been lost forever to the wilds of IKEA by not obeying this. Very few are ever located again by the sparse store employees.
  • Upon reaching your mission destination, you may disengage from The Path ONLY when accompanied by your partner (physical contact should be maintained- ie, holding hands, holding shirt sleeve, both holding an end of a rope, etc)
  • When you disengage from The Path to acquire the data for your mission objective (ie, the item number for the bookcase, couch, meatballs, etc), it becomes your partner’s responsibility to maintain visual contact with The Path. Much like weeping angel statues, The Path will move if not actively being watched. This will strand you and your partner in the wilds of IKEA, so ensure you choose a partner wisely.
  • Upon acquiring the mission objective data (ie the item number), navigate back to The Path. You may disengage physical contact with your partner once you have safely returned to The Path
  • Do not leave The Path again. It will naturally end at the warehouse/stock section. This is a long, huge hall with many branches.
  • At the entrance of the warehouse section, acquire a cart if necessary. Using your item coordinates, locate your mission objective. Do not leave the main hallway except for the branch where your item is located. Like The Path, the wilds of IKEA sometimes sneak up on travelers that wander the warehouse section
  • Once your item has been loaded, head to the check out section. Do not touch anything in the boxes along the way. They appear to be full of candles or stuffed animals or useful kitchenware; it is a ruse. They are carnivorous.
  • After checking out, exit to the loading area. Load your item, and leave.
  • Do not look in your rearview mirror as you leave. It shouldn’t pursue you if you don’t look back.
August 22 2014, 11:57 AM   •   11,410 notes  •   VIA   •   SOURCE
#misc  

alltheladiesyouhate:

alltheladiesyouhate:

question of the day: what is a book you absolutely love that doesn’t get enough love? why do you love it?

Scheri and I are going to read and review EVERY BOOK recommended to us on this post on our blog so if you have a rec let us know!

Anything by Walter Moers. Recommended starting place, either The 13 1/2 Lives Of Captain Bluebear or The City Of Dreaming Books.

August 22 2014, 12:36 AM   •   76 notes  •   VIA   •   SOURCE

whereart:

DevidSketchbook - THE BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARES OF ZDZISLAW BEKSINSKI

Artist Zdzislaw Beksinski (24 February 1929 – 21 February 2005) was a renowned Polish painter, photographer, and sculptor. Beksiński executed his paintings and drawings either in what he called a ‘Baroque’ or a ‘Gothic’ manner. The first style is dominated by representation, with the best-known examples coming from his fantastic realism period when he painted disturbing images of a surrealistic, nightmarish environment. The second style is more abstract, being dominated by form, and is typified by Beksiński’s later paintings.

more: wikipedia beksinski facebook

August 21 2014, 07:49 PM   •   37,644 notes  •   VIA   •   SOURCE
#art  
August 21 2014, 04:04 PM   •   892 notes  •   VIA   •   SOURCE
#mbp  

tell me something you dig about me on anon

August 21 2014, 03:28 PM   •   129,392 notes  •   VIA   •   SOURCE

maryberrybitchface:

the most shocking moment in gbbo history, tbh

August 21 2014, 03:26 PM   •   4,977 notes  •   VIA   •   SOURCE
#gbbo  
arcaneaisle:

Taken from inkskinned's writing.
I absolutely had to do this. This line is golden. 

arcaneaisle:

Taken from inkskinned's writing.


I absolutely had to do this. This line is golden. 

August 21 2014, 02:39 PM   •   2,433 notes  •   VIA   •   SOURCE

slow-riot:

George Bush doing the ice bucket challenge thing is really unsettling to me because it’s all over my dashboard right now and I truly don’t understand why people on this website now seem to think of him as America’s goofy uncle that does bad paintings you do remember who he is right?

dude, this is america. mitt romney ran for president. horrifyingly, for them, he is.

August 21 2014, 02:38 PM   •   6,138 notes  •   VIA   •   SOURCE
August 21 2014, 02:36 PM   •   70 notes  •   VIA   •   SOURCE